Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why does my ex boyfriend do this?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Do you like wearing short skirts?

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Is it possible for doctors to diagnose prostate cancer just by looking at a patient?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I see through liars

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why are people so terrified or bothered that a person has original creative ideas, hobbies or unique interests?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why am I losing interest to get a job and to all my desires because of this spiritual awakening? How do I get through life because of it?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Has a conversation with someone who holds opposing political views ever caused you to change your own beliefs?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What would happen if the US government told the British government in no uncertain terms all RAF bases with USAF personnel now must follow the Constitution and us law, and if the UK tried to defy this, the US military would directly attack the UK?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What does it mean when a guy says he's afraid of falling for someone else after going through heartbreaks?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I can read

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light